I can feel it...the time is creeping up on us when suddenly we'll get the call that will quite literally change our lives. We are in that moment that we will later look back on and say "Why didn't we go on a vacation? or Why didn't we spend more time preparing?"
'Calm' is certainly not the most appropriate word here as what we are feeling is, in fact, anything other than calm. Anxiety, nervousness, excitement, fear...just to name a few.
Now, please excuse me while I try and calm my "calmness" with some chocolate. :)
Mother's day has been a difficult day for the past few years. I've always tried to stay upbeat and positive about days like this knowing that one day, I will get a homemade card and macaroni necklace too. We've used this day to celebrate the mother figures in our lives and how much we love them for being so wonderful to us. Unfortunately, for many waiting mamas-to-be, Mother's day can often serve as a reminder of what we don't yet have.
Today, while out for quick appetizers, a friend of ours wished me a happy 'future' mother's day. It was the sweetest thing and I immediately teared up. I hadn't really thought I counted for this holiday yet.
I'm working on building my relationships and connections with other adoptive families to work through some of these tough times and found some great articles!
Last night Tony and I had an extremely rare 'date night.' (Soon to be all but extinct with kiddos! :) We went to see G.I. Joe: Retaliation in theaters. Halfway through the movie I leaned over to Tony and asked him if he could think of any other time when two opposing characters (good and evil) are portrayed with good being dressed in black, and bad being dressed in white. He couldn't.
Traditionally, characters in comics, movies, etc... always have the 'good' guys dressed in white and the 'bad' guys dressed in black. Hmmm. It's pretty common in our culture to associate good with things that are light, clean, heroic and safe, and bad with things that are dark, dirty, evil, or unsafe. Ummm....The Dark Side?
Is it always the case? Not at all. Black is associated with elegance, finances "In The Black," and let us not forget the LBD (Little Black Dress), any girl's go-to!! However, do these trump the emotional upheaval this color psychology can have on our kids, my kids?
This issue is so deep, I can't even begin to touch it, nor am I qualified. Watching the movie with Tony just put some thoughts into my head about how/when we will have to address this and what can we do to ensure that our child(ren) will develop strong sense of self and inner beauty to combat these subconscious thoughts?
This past week, Tony and I have found ourselves beginning to cautiously nest. We bought paint(gray) for the kid room and I found a mobile on etsy that I'm absolutely in love with! The seller only had one, so I bought it!! It's actually a dreamcatcher, but I'm using it as a mobile! We've been hesitant to begin purchasing and setting up. Obviously, for many practical reasons including the fact that we have no idea whether it's a boy or girl as well as age, size, etc... However, I'd be lying if I said that those were the only reasons. Of course, once you start accumulating the 'stuff' it becomes a constant reminder of what you do not yet have. I think some people are better at this, but I'm not one of 'em!
I've found Sundays to be a great day to document our journey. My mind is not full of the week's craziness quite yet and I have a clear(ish) head.
We have heard from so many people that the waiting period between dossier and referral is the longest. For a long time, I didn't buy it. We have been at this process for nearly 20 months and have found each step nearly as frustrating as the last, if not more. I WAS WRONG!!! This wait is excruciatingly painful. Every time the phone rings I stop breathing for a few seconds. I just cannot believe that one day, we will receive a call saying they've chosen a child for us!
In the meantime we're attempting to focus our energies on what we can control. Getting things in order, preparing for the upcoming garage sale, and just living our lives. (I really want to paint the kids' room but Tony is holding strong...) :)
Now, we have no way of knowing when we'll get our referral. It could be this week or next year. What a ride! Who needs the amusement park, just adopt!
In life, we try and 'live in the moment.' To do this, we must try and enjoy the process of things as much as our desired end result. Just like others, I often find this concept easier to stomach when it comes to the simpler things (diet, exercise, gardening, etc...). I am loudly admitting that being in the moment has not always been on mind throughout this entire process, okay, never on my mind. I have had difficulty finding joy in filling out paperwork and writing checks.
As we continue on our journey however, I find it imperative to remind myself daily to LIVE TODAY!
Today I Enjoyed...
Having breakfast with my husband, dad, Patti & her son Kelvin
Watching cartoons
Napping
Playing with Sam
Checking Adoption Blogs
After a disappointing oversight on my part (and a $50 overnight fedex charge to Missouri) we have finally sent our dossier! Hopefully they will have our paperwork within the next few weeks and we begin the big wait for a referral (that has a PICTURE attached of a kid/s). We happily spent over an hour at FedEx/Kinkos and over $100 to make all of our copies and mail the goods tonight.
What's in this giant stack of papers you ask?
Certified Copies of Birth Certificates
Certified Copy of Marriage Certificate
Home Study
Medical Letters
Police Clearance Letters
Employment Letters
Bank Statements
Photocopy of last 3 years 1040 Tax Returns
Passport Photos & Signature Pages
Post-Placement and Heritage Trip Agreement
Pastoral Recommendation Letter
Family Recommendation Letter
Friend Recommendation Letter Photographs of Family & Home
Guardianship Letter
Proof of Home Ownership
Travel Contract
Fee Agreement
Training Certificates
Service Plan
(Not to mention that all of these had to be notarized...yes, I had to notarize photos of my kitchen, as well as state sealed ;)
We are so thankful to all of the people who helped put this paperwork together! We couldn't have done it without all of your support and help! Thank you!
Mother's day has been a difficult day for the past few years. I've always tried to stay upbeat and positive about days like this knowing that one day, I will get a homemade card and macaroni necklace too. We've used this day to celebrate the mother figures in our lives and how much we love them for being so wonderful to us. Unfortunately, for many waiting mamas-to-be, Mother's day can often serve as a reminder of what we don't yet have. 
Traditionally, characters in comics, movies, etc... always have the 'good' guys dressed in white and the 'bad' guys dressed in black. Hmmm. It's pretty common in our culture to associate good with things that are light, clean, heroic and safe, and bad with things that are dark, dirty, evil, or unsafe. Ummm....The Dark Side?
This past week, Tony and I have found ourselves beginning to cautiously nest. We bought paint(gray) for the kid room and I found a mobile on etsy that I'm absolutely in love with! The seller only had one, so I bought it!! It's actually a dreamcatcher, but I'm using it as a mobile! We've been hesitant to begin purchasing and setting up. Obviously, for many practical reasons including the fact that we have no idea whether it's a boy or girl as well as age, size, etc... However, I'd be lying if I said that those were the only reasons. Of course, once you start accumulating the 'stuff' it becomes a constant reminder of what you do not yet have. I think some people are better at this, but I'm not one of 'em!
After a disappointing oversight on my part (and a $50 overnight fedex charge to Missouri) we have finally sent our dossier! Hopefully they will have our paperwork within the next few weeks and we begin the big wait for a referral (that has a PICTURE attached of a kid/s). We happily spent over an hour at FedEx/Kinkos and over $100 to make all of our copies and mail the goods tonight.
What's in this giant stack of papers you ask?
Photographs of Family & Home