And We're Off....in 20 Days!!

The past week has been an amazing whirlwind of movement and activity!  We finally have a court date and leave in THREE short weeks!  Yes, 20 days from now we will be on a plane heading toward our SON!

The amount of crazy that the next days will bring will absolutely melt away the first time I watch my husband hold his son, the first time my son holds my hand.   I'm thrilled and terrified.  (That's normal, right?)   :)

All of our love.......

103

Yes, we are still waiting to hear about a court date.  Courts close in mid July until early September so we are (not so patiently) waiting, hoping we can get in before they close. 

We have known about our little man for 103 days today.  For 103 days, my heart grows and breaks a million times a minute.  I have never been so desperate for anything in my life. 

Blessed!

Currently, we are awaiting a court date.  Once we know that, we will plan our travel.  We both plan on staying in country with our little for however long it takes (5-10 weeks approx).  We are both so excited to spend some quality time in our little's homeland immersing ourselves into the culture.  Although we have legal issues to cover while in country, we will also have time to get to know little's native land...and of course, figure out that whole 'parenting' thing!  :) 

We are busily taking care of the final steps to ensure our finances are in order, bills paid, etc...  In working with our agency, we have decided to set a timeline for our fundraising efforts.  If you are interested in supporting the cost of bringing our son home, we graciously ask that you send your donation to ATWA by Friday, March 7th.   This is also the date we plan on closing our t-shirt sales.  Info on both can be found on our blog.

We cannot wait for all of you to meet our little guy and for him to meet our amazing friends and family!

Blessings!
T & K 

Titles of 'Mommy' and 'Daddy'--- Best Gift Ever!!

Things are moving so fast!  What’s that saying, hurry up and wait?  We’re in hurry up and hurry up right now!

What our family desires most is your love, prayers and support.  If you feel compelled to go beyond, know that we are truly grateful.   We have decided to pass on any baby showers in lieu of support to bring Baby Boy home.  Adoptions hold an amazing power of bringing together a community.  It’s beautiful how one beautiful little heart can connect so many. 

For a number of reasons specific to our situation, we’ve decided not to register.  We’ve spent a few years gathering the essentials.  Also, so much of what is out there is newborn stuff (i.e. We have no use for a breast pump!)  For baby boy's sake, we won't be introducing too many 'things' too fast so there’s a good chance items would go unused. 

There are very few things I enjoy shopping for more than a good friend/family’s new baby (c’mon ladies, ya’ll know finding the right bra is an amazing day).  However, we ask that baby boy’s situation calls you to consider the true necessity of a $4 card, a $3 bag, a $10 gift...  Baby boy comes from a tough situation.

Much of our adoption costs go toward supporting our baby’s case, our agency which allows for continued matching of other orphaned babes to their forever families, and supporting baby boy's current home and the amazing people who are caring for him at this moment.  Of course travel costs and time away from work come in to play as well.

If you find yourself drawn to support, please send your donation to the address below with a note about where you’d like the money allocated to (i.e. Lang Family Adoption).  Every penny you designate will go directly toward baby boy.  You will receive a receipt that can be used for tax purposes.  We have roughly $18,000 left to pay not considering travel costs...a daunting number, but we know God will provide.  Baby boy is worth every penny!

We have mere weeks (yikes!) to take care of the financials and we appreciate your prayers as we navigate our way through.  But, there is a face, a beating heart at the end of this crazy journey.  This child is already more loved than he will ever know.  Our struggles have led us here and we couldn’t be more genuinely happy....terrified....but happy!     

All our love,
Tony & Kelly

Across the World Adoptions
395 Taylor Boulevard, Suite 116
Pleasant Hill, CA 94523

Happy New Year!

Although 2013 was quite possibly the hardest year of our lives, we also learned a lot about ourselves and our faith.  I went from spending Christmas Eve completely shaken, to New Years Eve with the most amazing news of our lives!

We are happy to announce that we are the proud new parents of a baby BOY!  Baby boy is around 15-18 months old and is waiting for us right now.  We couldn't be happier and although we know and understand there are still hurdles to jump over & potential obstacles, we have faith that our journey will connect us and bind us together as a family.   We are hoping to travel in March.  Yikes, March!!!

There is so much to do and so much to tell!  Due to a variety of reasons, we have left our current agency and joined a new one.  Our new agency operates on a 'waiting child' premise versus our old agency which was a 'waiting family' program.  'Waiting Children' programs tend to work around those children who are harder to place.  The details are very jumbled/complicated so for our purposes today, we're just going to move forward towards BABY BOY! 

Waiting Mama...Holiday Time (again)

Forget the paperwork.  Forget the money.  Forget the time.  I speak to you today from the very bottom of my very battered and bruised heart.  The reality is, for our waiting family, the holidays are brutal.  At this point, I feel the need to offer my apologies because I grow nervous that some will take offense.  However, after three years of consoling others about our situation, I feel the need to give it straight, if not for anyone but myself, or maybe others who can empathize with our struggle.  It's exhausting pretending to be happy...plus I'm not that good of an actress.

I will smile, and laugh, and feel genuine happiness during this time.  Yet underneath everything, is a thickening layer of ache.  A widening want for the Christmas morning I am awoken too early by my overly eager little and sleepily watch as they reveal the contents of their stocking.  I cannot describe this ache, it goes well beyond anything else I have ever wanted in my life.  It's an empty feeling, like someone drained my insides.  Being a mother w/o a child is a hollow feeling. 

It's not Christmas that's the problem.  The real deal is that holidays are time markers....letting us know that more days/weeks/months have passed.  This is the third holiday season we are entering on this journey.  We have joyously watched as countless friends and family have welcomed babies over the years and continue to do so.  The happiness we feel for others is in a completely different realm than our sorrow over our own empty crib.

What are we doing to get through it? 

•  LIVE.  eat, sleep, work, play, etc...
• Prepare (when we're up to it...no sense forcing decorating or baby-proofing if we can't enjoy it)
• Care for ourselves (meditate, exercise, eat well, cry)
• Love others from a distance (i.e. hiatus from facebook & other social media sites---remain in touch with few through email & text, send our prayers out daily, and avoid the daily bombardment of photos/announcements/etc...)

 Recommendations for those around us during this difficult time

• LIVE.  eat, work, enjoy life, share good news with us (yes, I've asked friends to share their pregnancy news via email with me----this is just me, but I prefer to react in whatever way feels right at the time for me.  I will call when I think I can handle it.  :) 
• Know that we're SAD, we're not DYING
• Accept our hermit status (being around others asking well-intentioned questions might bring on anxiety)
• Pity is unnecessary.
• Read something on adoption...learn some of the terms we might use
• What can you say?  Like anyone going through a hard time, the best thing I've found is to echo back their feelings.  Saying things like "It will happen when it's supposed to," reminds me of the control I know I don't have. 
• I hesitate to write this last one, because I know it's always said with such good intentions, but please don't tell me as soon as we adopt I'll get pregnant.  It's so easy to say, and I've even bought into it.  The reality is that I've already mourned that part (although adoption for me was never a second best way of building a family---it is one of the ways I've always wanted to build a family)  

All we can do is hope and pray that our post in 365 days from now will be very different from today's. 

A most blessed and happy holidays to all.
Our thoughts and prayers are with our family and friends and of course, our little one(s) waiting on us.  We're doing everything we can baby. 

Nkwagala (I love you)

"If I have ever seen magic, it has been in Africa." -John Hemingway

Orphan Sunday, 2013

We haven't posted for so long!  Each year, the beginning of the school year always zooms by and before we know it, the holidays are approaching!

Truth be told, there hasn't been any information to share.  We've been made aware that we will most likely not get our referral until the new year.  As always, we continue to try and understand this journey and accept that we have no control over this part of our lives.   The coming holidays are most likely going to prove difficult.  Holidays (any and all and sometimes, none) can prove extremely difficult to those waiting on a child.  Yes, I broke down on the 4th of July this year...  We ask for your prayers and understanding during this very difficult time for us.

 Below is a video a fellow adoptive family made.  It's beautiful.  

 

Joy! Joy! Joy!

The next best thing to learning about our own adoptive future, is experiencing the joy of other adoptive families!  To know that another child has found their forever home and another family feels complete.  A week from Monday, I am privileged to attend my very first airport party for a friend returning home with her daughter.  I cannot wait to see the joy on her face!

I cannot stress how important making connections with other adoptive families is during this journey.  Although we are all on different roads, they all lead to family.  The support we give one another during this amazingly difficult journey is an absolute necessity! 

First Day of School!

This time of year is always filled with a range of emotions for us.  Excitement about the awesome kids we're going to have in our classrooms this year, nervousness about how we'll meet their needs, bummers that we can't sleep in anymore...  This year, however, we are faced with a new emotion.  Tony and I spend our days taking care of other people's children.  Now that we are (hopefully) on the cusp of becoming parents ourselves, it's creeping into our consciousness that others will soon be the teachers and caretakers of our children.  With that in mind, we go into this year with the mindset that the little ones coming into our room are someone else's whole world.  Although we have known this before, our awareness is heightened.  I can't wait to support all the amazing work the parents of my students have already done and become a partner in the success of their children!  :)  Happy school year everyone!

Waiting to Be Rescued

When Fridays come, I used to think it was a reprieve.  Spending the entire week waiting for 'The Call' is seriously exhausting.  However, on Friday evenings, I find myself stressed that I now have to wait for two days before we can wait again. 

Please pray that we receive a referral next week.  We are ready to be rescued.  

Baby Room!

There is no news to report as of today.  The only other news is that we've continued to work on the baby room.  (And I discovered Panoramic on my iPhone) :)

K & T

Update-ish

Unfortunately, there isn't much to report as of late.  We haven't yet heard anything from our agency about our adoption.  Our situation is very different than many other countries.  For example, we do not receive a number and stand in line.  The partners in country and our agency here match families with children.  Essentially, we won't know ANYTHING until we know EVERYTHING!   We have, however, continued to connect with many other families!  In fact, one family is leaving TODAY to meet their little girl!  :)  Our prayers and thoughts are with them during their stay.  We pray for a safe & healthy trip and a speedy process to bring her home soon!



Adorable pic of the day...our puppy Sam has been found lying in the baby room in front of the crib.  This is most unusual as she normally is never even in that room!  She must be waiting for her bestie! 

Making Connections

Over the past week we have had the amazing pleasure of connecting with other families!  Facebook is an amazing tool!  I immediately felt a sense of relief that I finally have people to really talk to about our situation.  We have been blessed to have amazing support from family and friends but as anyone in a unique situation can understand, you find an additional sense of peace when talking with others who have gone through what you have.

Collectively, we are working on packing lists, notes on travel/hotels, etc...  Awesome!

Happy Memorial Day

For the long weekend, we decided to roll up our sleeves and get some work done!  I love the idea of painting, I even love the feeling when you're covering that old paint with new and how clean everything feels.  I find the prep work extremely frustrating however. 

So on this Memorial Day, I am humbled to remember how fragile life is, both for those we have lost and those we have yet to embrace into our lives.  We thank our service men and women who have given so much for their country and for the families of those who serve and their sacrifice. 

We have a robin's nest just outside our front door, literally two feet.  We have had an amazing time watching first one, then two, then five eggs in the nest!  Today, we woke up and we've got baby birds!!  It's such a reminder of how delicate life is and how much we need to be thankful for. 

Many blessings! 

The Calm Before The Storm

I can feel it...the time is creeping up on us when suddenly we'll get the call that will quite literally change our lives.  We are in that moment that we will later look back on and say "Why didn't we go on a vacation? or Why didn't we spend more time preparing?"

'Calm' is certainly not the most appropriate word here as what we are feeling is, in fact, anything other than calm.  Anxiety, nervousness, excitement, fear...just to name a few. 

Now, please excuse me while I try and calm my "calmness" with some chocolate.  :)

Happy Mother's Day to the Lucky Mama's and Mama's-To-Be Out There!

Mother's day has been a difficult day for the past few years.  I've always tried to stay upbeat and positive about days like this knowing that one day, I will get a homemade card and macaroni necklace too.  We've used this day to celebrate the mother figures in our lives and how much we love them for being so wonderful to us.  Unfortunately, for many waiting mamas-to-be, Mother's day can often serve as a reminder of what we don't yet have.

Today, while out for quick appetizers, a friend of ours wished me a happy 'future' mother's day.  It was the sweetest thing and I immediately teared up.  I hadn't really thought I counted for this holiday yet.

I'm working on building my relationships and connections with other adoptive families to work through some of these tough times and found some great articles! 

How To Stay Upbeat This Mother's Day
How To Celebrate An Adoptive Mom-To-Be on Mother's Day
How to Survive a Mother's Day When You're Waiting to Adopt

To all the mothers and mothers-to-be whether through adoption or not, may I wish you a very happy Mother's day!

Kelly

Facing Race

Snake Eyes(good) & Storm Shadow(bad)

Last night Tony and I had an extremely rare 'date night.' (Soon to be all but extinct with kiddos! :) We went to see G.I. Joe: Retaliation in theaters.  Halfway through the movie I leaned over to Tony and asked him if he could think of any other time when two opposing characters (good and evil) are portrayed with good being dressed in black, and bad being dressed in white.  He couldn't.

Traditionally, characters in comics, movies, etc... always have the 'good' guys dressed in white and the 'bad' guys dressed in black.  Hmmm.   It's pretty common in our culture to associate good with things that are light, clean, heroic and safe, and bad with things that are dark, dirty, evil, or unsafe.  Ummm....The Dark Side?

Is it always the case?  Not at all.  Black is associated with elegance,  finances "In The Black," and let us not forget the LBD (Little Black Dress), any girl's go-to!!  However, do these trump the emotional upheaval this color psychology can have on our kids, my kids?

This issue is so deep, I can't even begin to touch it, nor am I qualified.   Watching the movie with Tony just put some thoughts into my head about how/when we will have to address this and what can we do to ensure that our child(ren) will develop strong sense of self and inner beauty to combat these subconscious thoughts?

Deep breath...
K & T

Cautious Nesting...

This past week, Tony and I have found ourselves beginning to cautiously nest.  We bought paint(gray) for the kid room and I found a mobile on etsy that I'm absolutely in love with!  The seller only had one, so I bought it!! It's actually a dreamcatcher, but I'm using it as a mobile!  We've been hesitant to begin purchasing and setting up.  Obviously, for many practical reasons including the fact that we have no idea whether it's a boy or girl as well as age, size, etc...  However, I'd be lying if I said that those were the only reasons.  Of course, once you start accumulating the 'stuff' it becomes a constant reminder of what you do not yet have.  I think some people are better at this, but I'm not one of 'em! 

Getting Ready for The Unknown...

I've found Sundays to be a great day to document our journey.  My mind is not full of the week's craziness quite yet and I have a clear(ish) head.

We have heard from so many people that the waiting period between dossier and referral is the longest.  For a long time,  I didn't buy it.  We have been at this process for nearly 20 months and have found each step nearly as frustrating as the last, if not more.  I WAS WRONG!!!  This wait is excruciatingly painful.  Every time the phone rings I stop breathing for a few seconds.  I just cannot believe that one day, we will receive a call saying they've chosen a child for us! 

In the meantime we're attempting to focus our energies on what we can control.  Getting things in order, preparing for the upcoming garage sale, and just living our lives.  (I really want to paint the kids' room but Tony is holding strong...)  :) 

 Now, we have no way of knowing when we'll get our referral.  It could be this week or next year.  What a ride!  Who needs the amusement park, just adopt! 

Ashe

Remembering to Live TODAY

In life, we try and 'live in the moment.'  To do this, we must try and enjoy the process of things as much as our desired end result.  Just like others, I often find this concept easier to stomach when it comes to the simpler things (diet, exercise, gardening, etc...).   I am loudly admitting that being in the moment has not always been on mind throughout this entire process, okay, never on my mind.  I have had difficulty finding joy in filling out paperwork and writing checks.

As we continue on our journey however, I find it imperative to remind myself daily to LIVE TODAY! 

Today I Enjoyed...
Having breakfast with my husband, dad, Patti & her son Kelvin
Watching cartoons
Napping
Playing with Sam
Checking Adoption Blogs

Today I Pray For...
Health of family and friends

<3 to All
T&K